Backlash
by Psycho Goddess
Summary: A twist on the been done explanation for the final scene in Freak Nation. Max and Logan have a little confrontation of sorts **COMPLETE** (for now)
1. Max

**Backlash **

Disclaimer: Why do I bother? Since those morons at FOX cancelled DA in the first place, there's no use giving them credit for the idea. So, it's all MY genius that headed DA for s1 and had all the good parts of s2. and that includes that gorgeous hunk of a man known as Logan Cale. :P Unfortunately, I don't own the songs. 

The Dark Angel Nation Campaign is awesome! In case you have been living under a rock for the last month, the URL is www.savedarkangel.net :) 

Need a beta? A place to discuss any type of fiction? http://fictionforum.suddenlaunch2.com/ 

Now that all that informative junk is outta the way, you can get to the story. Uhhhm it's, interesting? Yeah, interesting. Makes no sense, but I need a distraction! Post FN but pre the final scene, Max reflects on her new status. Naturally, Logan joins her. Or unnaturally, I'm not sure. But right after I saw FN I started a story that got even more bizarre then this one. Yet I felt the urge to put it to good use. I apologize beforehand for any emotional damage inflicted during this experience. Unless you're Gail Berman. So read it or just scroll to the bottom, leave a review and pretend to have read it. ;-) I'll have the next two chapters up, like tomorrow, because I'm going out to the movies and have to get ready. Henceforth, I don't have the time to format and upload the end. Sorry. :-( 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

They say we're monsters, not worthy of being alive. I wish that they could feel what we feel and try to say that. We aren't monsters, not really. So we were made in a lab. What effect does that have on our humanity? Because what they're prosecuting us for-it isn't our fault. It never could be. Monsters are the people that hurt one another, the type of people the great and powerful Eyes Only fought against. Not us. On the top of a building, separated from the rest of the world, it seems almost impossible that any of this has happened. But it's stupid to think like that. Fact is, they want us dead, in a bad way. 

"Not quite the Space Needle, is it?" a voice observed. Logan. Dear, sweet, moronic Logan. Why couldn't he just accept that they were over? _Why should he? You don't, _a traitorous voice muttered sarcastically. Which was true in a way, more then once I have thought about him in the not-quite-just-friends way. _Like when he was examining the runes for one. _Damn inner thoughts. 

"Works just as well," I manage to mumble without looking at him. I can't, not without risking a break down and confession. Better to think that I am with Alec then to let him be hurt again. It wasn't so bad when we were fighting side by side- no matter what, our friendship was never in jeopardy. It's not like we could just hang out anymore, or do anything remotely phsycical, but deep down we were always still friends. But all of the sudden it wasn't life or death and things are back the way they were. 

He plunks himself down right next to me, as if he doesn't care about the risk. Shit, I am not ready to deal with this. Sadistic cults I can handle, but not him. Deep down I'm not sure if I can sit next to him and _not_ reach out to him. 

~*~*~ 

_  
With all of my heart, I know I could love you  
But, with all of my soul, I'm driftin away  
With all of my mind, I know you could save me from myself  
And anything else, _

_With all of my strength, I wanna reach out for you  
With every breath, I call out your name  
With every step, I just wanna turn around and say  
Baby make it okay_  
  


~*~*~ 

"You're doing a good job Max." 

"Whatever. In case you're blind as well as stupid, we have 300 soldiers, some of them 6 years old, in a toxic waste dump with limited resources. There's no chance of getting out of the situation alive, because everyone in the free world wants us dead. Now that they know we exist, sweeping us aside won't work anymore." Maybe if I bitch enough he'll take a hint and leave. 

"Not everyone." 

Guess not. What is going to make this guy just give up? I'd be fine if he'd just accept it and move on. _But that's not Logan. And don't act as if you don't already know that. It's one of the reasons you cared enough to look for a cure. And the reason you're letting him go._

"So if you're going to end up dead anyways, why don't you tell me the truth?" 

"About what?" I ask, hoping to at least delay the inevitable. 

"You and Alec." 

"Hey, you're the one that saw us. Get a clue. Alec gets me, you don't. How could you, you can't even walk." I hope this works. I didn't want it to get harsh, but it's reached the stage where I don't know if I have any options left.

"I thought that didn't matter to you?" He doesn't even sound hurt. Somehow I feel I'm missing something. 

~*~*~ 

_But I'm so afraid  
that you've forgiven me one too many times  
And I'm so afraid  
to give my heart again, just to have a change of mind  
And I'm not quite sure that you can trust me  
And I would hate to have you find me again  
Baby, like the wind, driftin away_  
  


~*~*~ 

He changes the subject abruptly. "Have you given any thought to the meaning of the runes?" 

"Yeah, I'm the Holy Grail." 

"Glad to see you can still be a bitch." 

"Thanks." I stand up to leave. If he can't take a hint I'll just have to make him. 

"Stay." Logan orders. 

"Woof, woof. Feline DNA, remember?" But I sit back anyways. I need to see where this is going. 

"My bad." 

~*~*~  
  
_It blows and nobody knows where it's going to  
(I'm driftin away)  
It blows and nobody know what it's gonna do  
  
_

_With all of my heart, I know I disappointed you  
And although I'm real sorry  
I don't know how to save this time  
But, if I would lose you  
I know I would go completely out of my mind  
I'm running out of time_

~*~*~ 

  
There is a moment of silence, and it lets me think. Something is obviously very wrong. I know him well enough to know that he's not telling me everything. For the first time I peek at him. He's staring out, as if unaware of my presence. 

~*~*~ 

  
_And I'm so afraid that you've forgiven me one too many times  
And I'm so afraid to give my heart again just to have a change of mind  
And I'm not quite sure that you can trust me  
And I would hate to have you find me again  
Baby, like the wind, driftin away_

~*~*~ 

So I ask him. And all he does is stare at me. 

"How could I turn off emotions that easily?" he mocked. Although it could have just been the shock of hearing me ask a question like that. "It's not all that hard if there isn't an emotion to turn off. Because when all was said and done, I took an evaluation, and realized that I never loved you. C'mon Max, I just wanted to lay ya…don't look so shocked. You're hot, and that's about all you have going for you. You're a heartless bitch, and I actually let It hurt me. You know that? I, Logan Cale, was actually hurt by you. Because I was convinced I loved you. The Cales don't try and get women to sleep with them. They'd rather pay for the service. But I wanted to see if I could do it. You think I cooked dinner for you because I felt something for you? Get real. Emotions are a weakness. Why should I care who you sleep with? And don't tell me it's over, because there never was anything to be over. Have a nice life." And he left. 

~*~*~  
  
_It blows and nobody knows where it's going to  
(Driftin away)  
It blows and nobody knows what it's gonna do  
(You see my heart at night)  
At night you can hear it cry as the tear drops fall from heaven's eyes  
(Fallin down)  
And somehow you know it's true, these tears that fall are fallin for you  
(Fallin for you)_  
  
~*~*~ 

I wanted to be mad, to scream and yell and cry. I wanted to hurt him as much as his speech had cut my soul. In that moment, I wanted to kill him, give him the final kiss, to do anything. But all I could do was sit in a haze of pain, praying that this was a bad dream. I never thought he could be like that. The entire time I knew him, he was always a gentleman, a kind and caring person. But I guess even I could be fooled. Because even as I searched his face for any sign of pain, he never wavered. He meant every word he said. After what seemed like hours of hazy deadness, it finally sunk in. Everything that I thought was real was a lie. 

~*~*~ 

_ It blows and nobody knows where's it going to  
(Fallin down)  
It blows and nobody knows what it's gonna do  
At night you can hear it cry as the tear drops fall from heaven's eyes  
And somehow you know it's true these tears that fall are for you _


	2. Logan

"Not quite the Space Needle, is it?" I ask, revealing my presence. I knew I would find Max up here, she needed to get away from all the stress. I had snuck away, hoping that we would have a chance to talk. With everything that had happened, I needed to reassure myself she was okay. 

"Works just as well," she said, not raising her eyes. Fine, if she's going to be difficult, I will too. I sit, hoping to surprise her. Or we could be alone in our misery together at least. 

~*~*~ 

_It's amazing  
how you make your face just like a wall  
how you take your heart and turn it off  
how I turn my head and lose it all_  
  


~*~*~ 

"You're doing a good job Max." I offer, trying to break the silence. 

"Whatever. In case you're blind as well as stupid, we have 300 soldiers, some of them 6 years old, in a toxic waste dump with limited resources. There's no chance of getting out of the situation alive, because everyone in the free world wants us dead. Now that they know we exist, sweeping us aside won't work anymore." She's copping an attitude again, as if her playing the invincible tough ass makes her one. I see right through it, the way I always have. 

"Not everyone." There's another pause. "So if you're going to end up dead anyways, why don't you tell me the truth?" 

"About what?" . 

"You and Alec." 

"Hey, you're the one that saw us. Get a clue. Alec gets me, you don't. How could you, you can't even walk." Trying to exploit my weakness. How wonderfully predictable. 

"I thought that didn't matter to you?" 

~*~*~  
  


_It's unnerving  
how just one move puts me by myself  
there you go just trusting someone else  
now I know I put us both through hell_  
  


~*~*~ 

"Have you given any thought to the meaning of the runes?" 

"Yeah, I'm the Holy Grail." 

"Glad to see you can still be a bitch." 

"Thanks." She stands, and somehow I know that if I let her get away with it one more time there will never be any hope. There's a time to stop running, and she needs to get there. An illogical thought runs through my head. 

"Stay." Not meant as a command, but it has the same effect. 

"Woof, woof. Feline DNA, remember?" 

"My bad." 

~*~*~ 

  
_I'm not saying**  
**there wasn't nothing wrong  
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me  
I'm not saying  
we ever had the right to hold on  
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me_

~*~*~  
  


The mask that she had so carefully erected has a flaw. Not fatal, but observable if you know her as well as I do. Despite a tough chick exterior, her eyes give her away. And when she asks me how I could turn off emotions so easily, I almost laugh. She's an expert at hiding hers, yet she can not tell when someone else is concealing their emotions. But it looks like my ridiculous idea may have merit. 

~*~*~  
  


_But if that's how it's gonna leave  
straight out from underneath  
then we'll see who's sorry now  
If that's how it's gonna stand, when  
you know you've been depending on  
the one you're leaving now  
the one you're leaving out  
_  


~*~*~ 

"How could I turn off emotions that easily?" I scoff, disbelieving that I was going to do this. I love her so much, and the mere thought of me doing this to her, to prey on her pain the way she had preyed on mine, disgusted me. But I had no choice. The words were out of my mouth before reason could set in. "It's not all that hard if there isn't an emotion to turn off. Because when all was said and done, I took an evaluation, and realized that I never loved you. C'mon Max, I just wanted to lay ya…don't look so shocked. You're hot, and that's about all you have going for you. You're a heartless bitch, and I actually let It hurt me. You know that? I, Logan Cale, was actually hurt by you. Because I was convinced I loved you. The Cales don't try and get women to sleep with them. They'd rather pay for the service. But I wanted to see if I could do it. You think I cooked dinner for you because I felt something for you? Get real. Emotions are a weakness. Why should I care who you sleep with? And don't tell me it's over, because there never was anything to be over. Have a nice life." 

~*~*~ 

  
_It's aggravating  
how you threw me on  
and you tore me out  
how your good intentions turn to doubt  
the way you needed time to sort it out  
  
_

~*~*~ 

I stand up, willing to do anything if I could take those words back. But hot headed pride just shattered the one thing that had given me joy when I was depressed. Tears sting my eyes, so I hurry. I've come too far to let my façade be ruined now. 

~*~*~ 

  
_Tell me is that how it's going to end  
when you know you've been depending on  
the one you're leaving now  
and the one you're leaving out_


	3. The Repercussions

It had been Joshua's idea to raise the flag. To him, it was all so simple, and Max was envious. Nothing was simple anymore. The one thing that she had believed in was a sham. But there was no use trying to make sense of the pain. She would be happy today, she was supposed to be the leader. And she was determined to fill the role. 

~*~*~ 

_If you were the sun  
And one day you lost all your light  
And you disappeared  
I'd stand in the dark all alone  
And wait through the night  
And I'd feel no fear  
I might not know what to do  
But you'd shine again like brand new  
I've got that much faith in you_  


~*~*~ 

She saw Logan through the crowd, and the betrayal threatened to engulf her again. How could she have been so wrong? It wasn't possible, despite what her mind was telling her. He stood, staring ahead. He may not be a transgenic, but he did not know the meaning of surrender. And much to her chagrin, she felt a surge of love go through her. 

~*~*~

_  
If ever the lights were to go out between us  
If ever the raindrops should start to fall  
Should the winds of distrust ever rock our foundation  
I know we could weather it all  
I might not know what to do  
But I do know we'd make it through  
I've got that much faith in you_

~*~*~ 

Logan stood where he knew Max would see him. He had avoided her since his "confession", but he knew that he couldn't do that forever. It had been Alec that had made him do this in a round about way. The younger man had approached him, telling him that he had heard rumors about his confrontation with Max and warning him that his intentions were more see through then glass, and definitely more breakable.

So he stood there, hand gloved, waiting to see what would happen. It wasn't his call to make, and all he could do was open the door. Logan hoped it would be enough. 

~*~*~  
_  
And if you were the moon  
And one night a big black cloud  
Came and covered your face  
I'd stand in the rain  
Like a statue tall and proud  
Till the clouds blew away  
I might not know what to do  
But you'd make the rain roll on through  
I've got that much faith in you_  
  


~*~*~ 

Max was staring at Logan, at his hand. The familiar gloves that had made contact with her skin with almost 4 days ago were on his hands. She contemplated the meaning, hoping against hope that she was right. Perhaps she had been wrong, maybe he had been lying. Logan had taken the clichéd "leap of faith" a long time ago, and it was her turn. He was there to catch her though, and it gave her the confidence to do it. Sidling her way towards him, she grasped his hand. 

For a moment- if she had been asked, Max would have said it was hours, but could honestly be no longer then a few seconds- there was no response. A deep regret swelled inside her. Not only had she made a fool of herself, she was admitting a weakness. But he squeezed her back, letting Max know that she had been right. He smiled, and she knew that in the end they would get through it.

"Now look what you've done." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A/N: Awww, how typical. I figured that as long as I'm a sap I may as well have a happy ending. **:-P** And just in case anyone is wondering: 

Chapter 1—Driftin' Away by Garth Brooks as Chris Gaines 

Chapter 2—Leave by Matchbox 20 (I love this group—I cry every time I hear the acoustic version of 3 am) 

Chapter 3—Faith In You by Steve Wariner (And oddly enough my youngest sister made me use this- I couldn't think of the right song {and if you take out the lyrics you'll see why it was needed} until she grabbed the mouse away from me and accidentally put the song on)

As always, all feedback, positive or negative, is appreciated. **:-) **And, oh yeah--don't worry if the ending disappoints you, I've never been able to write them. My English teacher used to hate me for it. But if anyone can give me some suggestions, knowing me I'll probably end up rewriting it.**:-P**


End file.
